More Ideas on Overcoming Fear

100_2693I received a number of comments about last week’s post, “Overcoming Fear.”  Two of the comments were posted to the blog, but I received many more via email.  Since the comments that were emailed to me were made in a more private format, I must assume that those who made the comments don’t want to be publicly identified.

However, I think that some of the comments I received via email, and my responses to them, may be helpful for a larger audience to ponder.  So, although the authors of the comments will remain anonymous, a few of these comments and my responses to them are the subject of the post I’m making today.

Comment:  Well written and powerful for you. Would that it would be so easy for other people. The trick is to get yourself to believe. Some people who have had horrific life experiences, simply cannot see the good in life. They simply have experienced too much pain. For those, just showing them peaceful ways of coping is probably the answer.

Response:  Mastering “the trick” of coming to believe in a new idea isn’t any easier for me than it is for anyone else.  However, that is the most peaceful way I know of coping; making the effort and doing the (mental and spiritual) work necessary to change the thought patterns that keep us in bondage to the lack, limitation and chaos we experience when we allow ourselves to feel as if there is nothing we can do because we see ourselves as victims.

For instance, I could live my life from the limited ideas I developed as I experienced the abuse that I was subject to from my Stepfather, but I chose instead to do the work necessary to know the Truth about him and to forgive him so that I could heal and move forward in life in a more joyful and productive manner.  I found that solution to be better for me than to continue to try and cope with the pain, anger and humility that lived in me for so many years as a result of his treatment towards me.

That’s only one example.  I am a descendant of slaves, born in America, raised in a neighborhood of others like myself during a time when heavy racial, social and economic strife impacted the lives of everyone around me.  I have literally hundreds of stories I can tell about painful, horrific, or painfully horrific life experiences I’ve had.  I’d rather share the stories of how I’ve been blessed and what blesses me in life, how I’ve healed from those painful experiences and how I learned to stop blaming the world around me and everyone in it for my woes. That seems more helpful to me.

I have found in the course of my life, that all people, no matter what their background may be, have had horrific life experiences, and that the vast majority of people have experienced tremendous amounts of pain.  It seems that although people live in denial, try to hide from their pain, or can put on a good show, no one can really cope peacefully with the skeletons in their closet.  The only solution is to heal, and that takes the willingness to do the work.

Guy

Comment:  Hi Guy,

Just visited your blog and read your “Overcoming Fear” article today.
A few remarks before commenting on the article.

I really like about your blog/site:

a) Visually appealing, nicely organized, easy to navigate;

b) Useful content, both in terms of identifying yourself and also providing New Thought resources;

c) An engaging writing style; excellent grammar and spelling.

The “Fear” article:

I for one am always on the lookout for stories about overcoming limitation, hoping to find useful “how-tos”. In your article, when you got to how you were going to accomplish releasing the fear of heights and flying, you started with the premise that fear and love cannot coexist. I got stuck there — with a lot of questions about the premise. Can’t they? Ever? Even though I know I live in an all-loving universe, I still experience fear. Doesn’t that mean they co-exist? Did you mean in a particular situation? This interfered with the reasoning in the following paragraph and for the rest of the article, I was wondering what you really meant. But maybe that’s a good thing…have to think about it.

Keep up the good work. I enjoy the stories.

Response:  Thank you so much for providing your critical review of the Blog.  My desire was to find out what people think about the site in the terms that you stated.  I am happy to find that I am accomplishing what I set out to achieve.

In answer to your question, if you search within yourself I think you will find that although you may have “mixed emotions” about certain situations, circumstances or experiences in your life, it is because your thoughts about these things fluctuate. “I like the way that looks, but it just doesn’t feel right to me.”

I like the way that looks is one thought, and it just doesn’t feel right is another one. although one thought followed directly after the other, it is impossible to think them both at once.  Both ideas stimulate different emotions; so, because your thinking can be in a state of flux, your emotions can too.  When this occurs it may feel or seem like you are feeling two things at once, but you are actually feeling one thing after another in rapid succession.  If you keep your thoughts fixed on thoughts of God’s Love, that is all you will experience.  If you keep your thoughts fixed on ideas that you are fearful about, that is all you will experience.  But only one idea can occupy your mind at a time, no matter how quickly a different one follows.  The key is to develop the discipline to keep ourselves thinking what we choose and want to think, despite what thoughts or ideas may occur more readily in us because of our habitual thought patterns.

I hope this helps to answer your question.  Thank you again for your critique.

Guy

Comment:  This [post] was just what I needed.  I am experiencing some serious fear right now and this was a tremendous help.

Regarding accessing your blog and giving feedback:  people are soooo fearful right now about the economy and what’s going on with their jobs and their lives that they just don’t have the time to go out there.  I think that it is a tremendous site and thank you for all of your efforts.

Response:  Thank you so much for your comments.  People are always fearful about something, but most of the time the cause of their fears is so deeply buried in their consciousness it cannot be identified, which is quite problematic; after all, how can you do the work necessary to change a situation if you don’t know what to work on?  At least with an idea as solid as “the state of the economy,” we know where to start; so, we can determine what train of thought we need to establish in order to create a better experience.  Maybe I’ll address this idea in the blog in the days ahead.

Guy

Comment:  I enjoyed the article on fear and am really glad you have conquered it.  Your article made me think of all types of fear and how we delay taking responsibility for addressing the fear.  I too have  fear of flying small planes.  But when I was in Israel and invited to fly on a small plane over the city or Jerusalem at dusk I was really afraid.  But on the plane with me was the bishop of the Greek Orthodox Church for Jerusalem and I told him that I did not want to [fly] on such a small plane and I was scared.  He told me that God was with me and that he was always with me in the air, [and] on the ground.  So when ever I am flying and feel frightened I think of Bishop Nikiporous and I know God is with me.

I liked your site and the content it is well organized.  You are a very good communicator and your writings are easy to understand – you offer real world options and suggestions and place them in a context that allows the reader to feel connected.  I enjoyed them.

Response:  I didn’t know we had this common experience in terms of the problem we faced and how we were able to overcome it.  This is a very interesting revelation.

Something else to realize, is that the idea of taking responsibility for healing ourselves of the fear based ideas and ways of living we’re accustomed to is a bit frightening for most people in itself.  We could all use a Bishop Nikiporous from time to time. Thank God they’re here for us.

Guy

To: all who visit and are inspired by this site; I love you, and I bless you.

And so it is.
Guy

Advertisements

Overcoming Fear

In the summer of 1967 at the age of eight, I traveled from my home in Cleveland, Ohio to visit my uncle in New York City.  I was thrilled at the prospect of flying to New York on my own.  My mother saw me to the gate as I departed, and my uncle met me at the gate as I arrived.project2aa

The thrill of the anticipated flight disappeared as soon as the plane lifted off. That was the moment I discovered my fear of heights.

Needless to say, the flight was not a pleasant one.  I was terrified.  I don’t know whether it was motion sickness or the fear that caused me to become so violently ill, but the stewardess (which is what a flight attendant was called then) said it was motion sickness.  I think it was the fear.

It was a wonderful 2 week vacation, filled with lots of fun and excitement.  I will never forget it.  But I refused to fly back and my uncle wound up driving me home.

10 years later, at the age of 18, I voluntarily joined the peacetime army.  I probably would not have joined if I had the foresight to think about flying to Fort Knox, Kentucky for basic training.  I tried to get out of the flight, but I was told that taking the bus was not an option; the government provided the plane ticket and I had orders to fly.  To top it all off, I was traveling with a “buddy,” which meant I had to act as if I was not concerned about the flight at all.  After all, I could not let my new “buddy” see any fear in me.  He already had a problem with me because I was put “in charge” of the trip, and he just couldn’t understand why he had to be insubordinate to someone of my (ethnic) background.

I rode the bus home after basic training.  I rode the bus to my Advanced Individual Training at Fort Benjamin Harrison, Indiana.  I rode the bus to my permanent duty station at Fort Ord, California.  Fortunately, I was never given an overseas assignment.project2zt

I stayed away from flying until February 1995, when I was convinced to travel to Cozumel, Mexico to celebrate my 36th birthday.  With my fear of heights and of flying securely in tact, I took the trip.  Although the flight going to Cozumel and returning to Chicago, (where I’ve resided since 1994), was horrendous, the vacation itself was a tremendous experience.  It was so fantastic in fact, that I have taken a vacation requiring flight every year since; sometimes two.

The dilemma was always the flying.  I developed a love for travel; seeing and experiencing new and different places, people and cultures, is very exciting to me.  The problem of getting there and getting home was (marginally) outweighed by the enthusiasm I had for the anticipated adventure.

project2znHowever, by the year 2000, I grew tired of experiencing the fear.  I determined that my entire vacation experience should be fun and enjoyable.  I decided that it was time for me to practice the teaching of knowing the presence of God in this matter.  I could not think of a viable reason that I should have an experience of something other than good in order for me to have an experience of my determined good.  I knew it was time to release the fear of heights and of flying.  But how would I accomplish this?

I remembered once coming across the idea that fear and love cannot coexist.  So, I used that idea as my starting point.  Fear, after all, (which has been described by the acronym False Expectations Appearing Real), is nothing more than a lack of faith that God is present in a certain situation, or the faith that God is not present.  When we practice and realize the presence of God in any situation, there is no fear because we know that there is nothing that exists which can destroy, defeat or oppose the Power that is God.

One of the attributes of God, or put another way, a fundamental aspect of the Nature of God is Love.  God is Love.  So, if I know that God is Love, and I know that God cannot be opposed, then I know that Love is an expression of the Power of God which cannot be opposed.  This is why fear and love cannot coexist; believing in, feeling and knowing the Love of God means knowing that I am filled with, immersed in, enveloped in and surrounded by this Power, that is constantly, consistently and unconditionally giving of Itself to me so that I always have my good.  The good that I determine for myself then, is and must be recognized as my real expectation.  Recognizing my real expectation of good, there is no power for any false expectation to appear in my mind or in my experience.

Based on this thinking, I used treatments and affirmations around the ideas that “God is Love,” and “The Love of God is with me now.”  I consciously conquered my fear of heights and of flying in the year 2000.  I now enjoy flying as much as the vacations I take, and I always sit by the window so I can take in the Magnificence and Beauty of God that I am surrounded by as I travel.

And so it is.

Guy

Coexist or Live As One: Choosing Tolerance or Unity

The idea for this post was inspired by a bumper sticker I saw on the back of a mini-van as I was driving to church this morning.  You’ve probably seen the same bumper sticker; it say’s COEXIST, and it is written with symbols from different systems of thought that resemble and replace the letters of the alphabet that would actually spell the word: coexist1The Crescent and Star for Islam; the Pentagram for Wicca; the relativity formula for science; the Star of David for Judaism; the Karma Wheel dotting the I for Buddhism; the Ying and Yang for Taoism; the Holy Cross for Christianity.  I don’t know what you think when you see these symbols placed next to each other in this way to give rise to this message; you may feel that it is a great message, or you may feel otherwise.

Here are a couple of statements I found while I was searching the internet to get an idea of the range of thoughts about this message: “I honestly believe that it’s possible for many belief systems to coexist if they try and I think that more people need to see that,” on one end of the scale and, “You can try for toleration.  That is a goal we can have concerning religion.  But both Islam and Christianity have as part of their faith the commission to convert the whole world.  Coexistence implies you do not try and convert; you just live side by side.  This movement is in my opinion just a weak liberal theological movement tied to a desire for peace.  The desire for peace is good.  But you cannot coexist in the way the COEXIST Foundation talks about without watering down your theology.  So, don’t support them.”

While neither of these statements reflects my views on this idea, the first one does come a lot closer.  I feel more closely aligned with Mahatma Gandhi’s statement, “I am a Christian and a Hindu and a Muslim and a Jew.”  Feel free to throw the religion of your choice in to that statement for me.  If it is a monotheistic teaching of any sort, at its core, more than likely it somehow points to the Truth that God is all there is and we are all one because we are all expressions of God.

I see God as the One Omniscient, Omnipotent and Omnipresent Creator, and as the One Life, Love, Light, Power, Peace, Beauty, Joy, Spirit, Truth, Source, Mind and Intelligence of all.  I believe that some monotheistic religions may have been misunderstood and/or misinterpreted over time, but are rooted in the same recognition.

Thusly, I believe that all of mankind is One in Spirit.  The separation and differences that are sensed and felt by so many come from the misconceived notion that being born in different places, speaking different languages or having different physical features separate us and make us different.  So, I don’t simply choose to tolerate others that look or speak different, or those that were born in different lands, or even those that seem to think differently; I recognize God in all of mankind, and live in the idea of oneness with everyone.  I choose to see the Truth, honor the Truth and celebrate the Truth of God in everyone by loving everyone as I love myself, regardless of how anyone else feels about or sees themselves, or me.  Although I appreciate the world learning tolerance and choosing it over hate, I have decided to choose Unity and Love over all.

Guy
coexist23

In Perfect Relationship to All

1eeThe problems we have with relationships stem from our belief in the idea that we are all individual and separate from each other.  While this certainly appears to be true, nothing could be further from the Truth.  The Truth is that we do each individualize God.  However, although God is individualized through and as all form, God can never be separate from Itself.  Thus, as unique as we may be in relationship to each other, we can never truly be individual and separate from one another; we are all One in God.

Once we see, sense and feel our Oneness with God, we become aware of our Oneness with all Life, in every existing form.  If I am One with God, I must necessarily be one with everything and everyone everywhere.  This means the only possible relationship I can have to anything and anyone anywhere is God to God.

Since the Nature of God is Good, my relationship to everyone in Truth must reflect the Nature of God and be Good to Good.  God is All and God is the Truth that exists in all.  Whatever is true of God is true of all that exists.

Knowing this, you must know that your relationship to your employees or employer, your parents, siblings or children, your spouse, your neighbors, your pastor, your congregants, or anyone, anywhere in your realm of thought, is God to God, Good to Good, Love to Love, Light to Light, Power to Power, Peace to Peace, Beauty to Beauty, and Joy to Joy.  See yourself as One with God, and one with everyone in this way, and any trouble you may have or may be experiencing with anyone will dissipate.

All relationships therefore are Right relationships.  The solution to any problem you may be experiencing in any relationship is the mental work of knowing that there are no problems in your relationship to anyone, because no matter how it looks, it is a Right relationship; a relationship of God to God and  Good to Good.  This is the Truth, knowing the Truth reveals the Truth, and revealing the Truth heals the condition.

Love to Love,

Guy

Inspired Affirmation of the Day – 01/04/09

All of my relationships; working, career, professional, friendly and intimate, express good to good, because all of my relationships are the expression of God to God.

Inspired Quote of the Day – 01/04/09

We all need each other.

–Leo Buscaglia

Inspired Prayer Treatment of the Day – 01-04-09

The Infinite Love of God is everywhere present and Divine Spirit expresses perfectly through everyone.  Since God is all, God’s Love lives in all.  It is this Love, acting through the perfect Law of Cause and Effect that creates Itself in all things, great and small.

I express and experience the Love of God in and through all of my relationships.  I know that the good that I am, I have, and I share is one with God; so, it is one with the good in everyone.  I am one with God and I am one with all of creation.  I receive Love as I give it; joyously, spontaneously and freely.  I am open and receptive to the Love of God as it flows to me through Infinite channels of expression. I give thanks, joyfully acknowledging God in everyone, Good in everyone and Love in everyone, that my life is filled with the Perfect Love of Spirit now.  I release my word and it is done. And so it is.

 

Love Your Neighbor

Well, I’m very excited! J  I just started my blog and in less than a week I got my first comment.  I don’t know how she wound up here, but Michelle, who blogs at http://handsfrozentothesword.com found her way to this site and wrote, “I like how Jesus put it when He said, ‘Love your neighbor as you love YOURSELF’,” in regards to my 3 part article, “Learning To Love Unconditionally.”

abcThis is a good teaching and I thank Michelle for pointing it out.  Loving everyone was a core component of Jesus’ teachings, and is paramount in the effort we must make to conceptualize the ideal of unconditional love within ourselves.  However, there are millions of people that admittedly don’t love themselves and don’t even know how to begin doing so.

So, many of us must learn to love ourselves unconditionally, even as we are learning to have and share love with everyone and everything in the same unconditional manner.  If you have found your way here and need help learning to love yourself, be sure to look at the “Affirmation” and “Treatment” pages, as well as the “Affirmation Archives” and “Treatment Archives” pages here.  All of the affirmations and treatments I’ve written for the blog so far, have been written to help us realize greater love in and for ourselves and the Universe of Good in which we live and move and have our being.

Guy

Inspired Affirmation of the Day – 12/30/08

I live in the Joy of Life, because I live my life to always express the Love of God through me to all.

Inspired Quote of the Day – 12/30/08

Live to love, and then you will delight to live.

–Warren Felt Evans

Inspired Prayer Treatment of the Day – 12/30/08

Spirit expresses and reveals Joy in all that It creates.  Life abounds in the Joy of this creative activity everywhere.  The Infinite, Limitless, Eternal Love of God continuously gives to all, provides for all, and prospers all.

I am an expression of this Spirit, and I love giving of myself as I am prospered and provided.  I receive abundantly the gifts of the Spirit, knowing that it is God’s good pleasure to give me the Kingdom, and it is my good pleasure to receive all that I can embody, embrace and share.  I live in gratitude and joy, ever thankful for all that I have, all that I give, and all that I receive.  I am abundantly prospered by my delight of living to give as I speak my word now, knowing that it is so. And so it is.

Learning to Love Unconditionally Part III

Part III of III: It All Starts With You

1bb3You are the only one that can think for you.  This means that only you can decide for yourself to see the Love of God and the good in others regardless of how they may behave or see themselves.  More importantly, you can choose to see and know the Love of God and the good in yourself, regardless of how you have been judging yourself until now.The truth is that you are a manifestation of Spirit, created by God and made in the image and likeness of God.  This means that by the nature of your existence you are good.  Once you begin to accept that idea about yourself, you can work on accepting that idea about everyone else.  To the degree that you accept this idea about yourself and others, you will see changes in your life.  The changes you begin to see as you begin thinking in this way will be for the better.Your perception of the world is based on the way you choose to see it.  Your choice may be conscious and deliberate, or it may be made by default because you are not really paying attention to the way you think and feel about what you see and experience.  Nonetheless, your thoughts and feelings shape your beliefs, and Life creates through you as you believe.  So, why not, as the ad campaign for a wireless phone company says, believe in something better?

In fact, the best place to start is with you.  Stop blaming yourself, being angry at yourself and putting yourself down for mistakes you may have made in the past.  Quit punishing yourself because you don’t feel that you are good enough, or that you don’t deserve to be, do, or have the things you want in life.  Decide to start being kind, loving, supportive and understanding with yourself.

Guy

 

Inspired Affirmation of the Day – 12/29/08

I love myself and accept myself as I am; knowing that I am perfect, whole and complete because I am made in the image and likeness of God. 

Inspired Quote of the Day – 12/29/08

Love is the self-givingness of the Spirit through the desire of Life to express Itself in terms of creation.

–Ernest Holmes

Inspired Prayer Treatment of the Day – 12/29/08

The Nature of all that exists is Love, because the Nature of god is Love and God exists in all.  This one undeniable, undefeatable, irresistible Power is present everywhere; living, moving and acting in all, through all and as all.  The Eternal Power of love is the Truth of my being, expressing and experiencing Itself as me.

I live in the Perfect Flow of Love, because the Love of God flows perfectly through me.  I know that I am good because I am a Divine expression of God’s Perfection.  God is always for me; so, Life is always for me.  I cherish, honor and celebrate every aspect of my life and my world knowing that I always experience the Harmony, Beauty and Love of Life in all that I see and do.  I release my word to Law, with the absolute faith and conviction that It always turns my word to form.  I give thanks that my word is made manifest in me and through me now.  And so it is.

 

 

 

Learning To Love Unconditionally Part II

Part II of III: Changing Your Perception

1aa6If you feel that people can treat you poorly or can do wrong to you, you are perceiving life as being what you see in the world of conditions.  Once you develop a Spiritual view of life, you will see and experience good everywhere you look, because you will see and experience the Truth, that God is all there is – everywhere – at all times.  Because God is Good, once you see and experience God everywhere, you will see and experience Good everywhere.  You must consciously choose to see life from this perspective, and it will take some work.

Once you decide to see good everywhere you look and in everyone you see, even the worst of the worst of situations and people will begin to change in their relationship to you.  An old Nigerian proverb states, “The way I treat my brother is the way I treat myself.”  This is true because we are all one in Spirit.  Mentally holding my brother in contempt and judgment holds me in contempt and judgment as well, and I draw to myself a set of situations, circumstances and experiences that reflect that in my life.

This is the idea of having dominion.  As William Shakespeare’s Hamlet remarks, “There is nothing either good or bad, except thinking makes it so.”  Our thoughts and feelings are what create and populate our world with our experiences.  A victim mentality turns us into victims.  What happens in our experience of life happens through us, not to us.

The way we perceive things and the ways we perceive people is the way we judge the things and people that we come into contact with.  This is why the Master Teacher, Jesus taught with two very clear statements about judgment: “Judge not least ye be judged,” and “Judge ye not according to appearances, but judge with righteous judgment.”  In other words; because we are all one in Spirit, what you think about others must reflect in your life, and don’t get fooled by what you see in this physical world of effects, see God in all things and all people and no matter what the appearance is, the good will be revealed.

Next, Part III of III: It All Starts With You

Inspired Affirmation of the Day – 12/28/08

I see the Love of God wherever I look, because I look at myself, I look at Life, and I live from the Spirit of Love within me.

Inspired Quote of the Day – 12/28/08

You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.

–Henry Drummond

Inspired Prayer Treatment of the Day – 12/28/08

Life is always giving of Itself to Itself and becoming Itself in all things.  This never ending activity is the Love of God in action.  I am an Infinite expression of the Eternal Love of God.  All that I see, hear, say and do is a reflection of the Spirit and Love of Life.  I love everyone and everything unconditionally, because I know that the Truth of everyone and everything everywhere is the Spirit of God.

I know that I live in and I am surrounded by a kind and loving Universe, that always gives to me as I give to myself; so, I am always kind, loving and supportive to me.  I embrace and embody this Truth now, giving thanks that my word has been heard and acted upon to produce Perfect Peace, Poise and Harmony in all of my affairs now.  I release my word and celebrate my good, knowing that it is done.  And so it is.